2018-2019 SEC Football Teams as Vines

December 21, 2018

 

Welcome to the finality of another college football season. The utmost time for reflection, but how does one possibly summarize their collective thoughts and feelings toward a football team? With Vine (RIP) of course. 

 

I am a writer, not a poet; however, famous poet William Shakespeare was once quoted as saying "when words fail, Vine speaks." That is so true, Billy. Amen.

 

Disclaimer: this Vine thread focuses specifically on the SEC, stay patient ACC I'm coming after you next. 

 

2018-2019 SEC FOOTBALL TEAMS AS VINES:

 

Number 1: The Alabama Crimson Tide

Okay, this one is extremely self explanatory. Showboating, superior, proud, and kind of tacky this football team wants only one thing and that thing is "more."

 

Number 2: The Georgia Bulldogs

Finishing first in the SEC East: check

Finishing 10-1 in the regular season: check

All of the previous information being overshadowed because you lost to Alabama and missed the playoff due to a horrific fake punt call on 4th and 11 at midfield: check

Number 3: The Florida Gators

BEING A FUFU LAME FOOTBALL PROGRAM, THE GATORS AIN'T WITH IT ANYMORE GRATATA.

Number 4: The LSU Tigers

*LSU entering the Alabama game after the billboard war*

Number 5: The Kentucky Wildcats

Kentucky had a chance to clinch the SEC East by defeating Georgia but this was about how that game went instead. So close.

Number 6: The Mississippi State Bulldogs

In a new role we haven't seen in a while everyone else is turning soft, but Mississippi State is playing hard and they'll get those killers on you in a second if you cross them. No, seriously, Mississippi State is ranked 1st overall in scoring defense. 

Number 7: The Texas A&M Aggies

Like true cowboys, Texas A&M caused true mayhem this year by going 3-2 in shootouts against LSU, Auburn, South Carolina, Kentucky, and Clemson.

Number 8: The Missouri Tigers

It's all downhill after you lose to Georgia, South Carolina, Alabama, and Kentucky, right? WRONG. Your life may be an escalator ride going down but you still gotta believe by beating Florida and not losing to Tennessee!

Number 9: The South Carolina Gamecocks

Gamecock football has driven their students to drink. A lot. 

South Carolina students:

Number 10: The Auburn Tigers

Auburn: boy

Slushie: secured bag

Invisible crack in pavement: Auburn's offensive line

Number 11: The Vanderbilt Commodores

The brains of the SEC are bowl eligible again and they do not care if you broke your elbow! They don't care about anything else at all right now! They're just happy to be here!

Number 12: The Tennessee Volunteers

You can get rid of your coach who used a garbage can as a turnover gimmick, but you can't erase this season. 

Number 13: The Ole Miss Rebel Black Bear Landsharks

Automatically bowl ineligible for NCAA violations :(

And in last place: The Arkansas Razorbacks

Truly a tragedy.

 

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