Ranking the SEC's Cupcake Week Opponents

November 19, 2018

 

 

LSU, South Carolina, Texas A&M, Auburn, Georgia, Kentucky, and Alabama all enjoyed a weekend respite from conference play by scheduling FCS opponents and destroying them in hopes of maintaining their sanity before rivalry week begins. 

 

While a few SEC teams played shutout games, some of these non-conference opponents did not go down gently. The following ranking takes into account how badly the perceived cupcake was defeated as well as their social media trolling game.

 

Here come the cupcakes:

 

#7 The Liberty Flames

 

Division: Division 1 FBS, Independent

 

Damage: Auburn 53 Liberty 0 

 

Thoughts: Liberty's opponent, the Auburn Tigers have been dealt a bad hand this season by being gifted with an NFL caliber defense and an absolute dumpster fire offense, so it makes complete sense that Liberty scored zero points. 53 points for this Auburn offense is a huge deal though as this team couldn't even rely on Dora the Explorer to guide them to the end zone. 

 

Social Media Game: Strictly business, respect to the hashtags.

 

 

#6 The Chattanooga Mocs

 

Division: Division 1 FCS, Southern Conference

 

Damage: South Carolina 49 Chattanooga 9

 

Thoughts: Desperate to become bowl eligible South Carolina had no choice but to hang 40 on an FCS opponent. If they had hung any less Will Muschamp would be investigated for manslaughter. 

 

Social Media Game: No trolling here, just motivation filled hashtags.

 

 

 

#5 The Rice Owls

 

Division: Division 1 FBS, Conference USA 

 

Damage: LSU 42 Rice 10

 

Thoughts: After this cupcake win, LSU fans will spend the next 2 weeks agonizing over how their beloved Tigers can sneak their way into the playoff. 

 

Social Media Game: "INTELLECTUAL BRUTALITY" I'm ready to run through a wall now. 

 

 

 

#4 The Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders

 

Division: Division 1 FBS, Conference USA

 

Damage: Kentucky 34 Middle Tennessee 23

 

Thoughts: The Blue Raiders hung tough against Kentucky, but Kentucky is the kind of team that likes to make things really interesting to watch. Just two weeks ago the Wildcats faced off against Georgia for a chance to clinch the SEC East only to lose to former SEC punching bag, Tennessee a week later. 

 

Social Media Game: FORTNITE DANCE MOVES. 

 

 

 

#3 UMass Minutemen 

 

Division: Division 1 FBS, Independent

 

Damage: Georgia 66 UMass 27 

 

Thoughts: UMASS HUNG UP 27 POINTS AGAINST GEORGIA. The Georgia secondary was made out to look absolutely silly by UMass wide receiver Andy Isabella. 

 

Social Media Game: A lot of business, no Fortnite dance moves, but still definitely something to be proud of. 

 

 

 

 

#2 The Citadel Bulldogs

 

Division: Division 1 FCS, Southern Conference

 

Damage: Alabama 50 Citadel 17

 

Thoughts: For 35 total minutes I was a respecter of The Citadel. Around noon Saturday I sensed a disturbance in the process coming out of Tuscaloosa so I tuned in. Alabama and The Citadel went to halftime tied at 10. "WOW OH MY GOD!" I thought thinking like an idiot that this could be it. Then Alabama proceeded to score 5 more touchdowns. 

 

Social Media Game: Absolute fire. Nothing short of perfection. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

#1 University of Alabama Birmingham Blazers

 

Division: Division 1 FBS, Conference USA

 

Damage: Texas A&M 41 UAB 20 

 

Thoughts: The UAB football program was terminated completely after the 2014 season but returned in 2017. In his 3rd season as head coach, Bill Clark is 23-12 and has led his Blazers to a division title this year. This Blazer squad went into Kyle Field, hung up 20 points, 417 yards of total offense, and dominated the clock in time of possession. 

 

Social Media Game: Strictly business, hype video 10/10. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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